tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34825832011-04-21T19:04:47.355-07:00dave white knowsdave white's diaryDavehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comBlogger871100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-1068602461173301102003-11-11T18:01:00.000-08:002003-11-11T18:00:58.860-08:00I got all injured!
Some dishes don't want to be washed, and they will fight you about it. A glass--fortunately not a really good one or I'd have been miffed--fought back against me and my tyrannical use of Dawn, and it won.
Usually when I spaz and break a dish or a glass or whatever while I'm washing them, the blood is low-key and a Band-Aid brand bandage will fix me. But very recently I put Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-1065452527021925612003-10-06T08:02:00.000-07:002003-10-06T10:00:19.070-07:00So Alopecia Dermatitis and I go see "Scarface" at the Cineramadome with a pack of wild boars on a Wednesday night at 9pm. In spite of the fact that 9pm is totally my bedtime and "Scarface" is like three hours long, we go. Because "Scarface" is AWESOME, that's why. It was the first and last time Al Pacino behaved crazily in that patented Al Pacino that-sofa-looks-good-to-eat way and the last time Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-1060865618026886262003-08-14T05:53:00.000-07:002003-08-14T05:59:16.316-07:00A retraction: "Grind" is actually not horrible. Maybe I'm just feeling generous but I didn't feel like I was in jail while I watched it. It's a low-achieving movie but that's what it wanted to be I think. I did feel like I was in jail the day before, though, for an art-house thing called "Dust." It's got one of those cranky old ladies befriending a befuddled robber who in real life would have Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-1060299264402600172003-08-07T16:34:00.000-07:002003-08-07T16:34:24.433-07:00Favorite "Gigli" line # 2
Okay it's not a line, really. It's a pronunciation of "Oregon." As in the state. Miss Lo says it like "Oregone," as in, "Is he here? No, he's gone." Or-ah-GONE.
Tonight I see "Grind." A skateboarding movie. I hope it's as good as "Gleaming the Cube" or "Prayer of The Rollerboys."
Okay that's it for now. It's so hot I can't even think right with my brain today.Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-1059685148966682112003-07-31T13:59:00.000-07:002005-12-08T11:51:25.326-08:00The kids are all about bangs this summer. I just learned that while dining on tuna salad and a deliciously yellow organic heirloom tomato and watching "TRL." If my hair weren't so short, I could look just like Liv Tyler by imitating her eyelid-skimming bangs. I'm always in the wrong place at the wrong time.Speaking of wrong, go see "Gigli." You'll thank me. I won't go on with bashing it because Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-1058830526438511232003-07-21T16:35:00.000-07:002005-12-08T11:52:10.496-08:00So there I was at the San Diego Comic-Con, braving the body odor and mouth breathing, when who should brush past me on the exhibitor floor but Daryl Hannah and bodyguard. She was there, I would learn the next day, to promote "Kill Bill," the new Tarantino movie. She looks great, in spite of her mildly distracting and somewhat stretchy plastic surgery, had a Slurpee or something in her hand, Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-1058312327824309862003-07-15T16:38:00.000-07:002005-12-08T11:52:42.980-08:00Six weeks without me, I'm told, is like that movie "Six Weeks" with Mary Tyler Moore and Dudley Moore and that little ballet kid who dies of cancer at Christmas, the final holiday in the final week of the titular six weeks. She dances "The Nutcracker," then grabs her own pain-throbbed head in the subway, yells, "It hurts!" and keels over. It's a much better Christmas Cancer movie than "Stepmom" Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-952095202003-06-02T15:24:00.000-07:002005-12-08T11:53:10.046-08:00Well for a brief shining moment I had my beautiful enema ad gracing the top of this page. But this stalkerish marketing stuff is enough to make me want to switch over to Live Journal.I saw "Wrong Turn" with Sean Abley, the king of people to go see horror movies with. He's seen everything and his opinions on them are law. "Wrong Turn" is about butch-babe Eliza Dushku and this dude who was John Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-950369792003-05-29T08:28:00.000-07:002005-12-08T11:53:32.496-08:00Devoted DaveWhiteKnows reader Kimberly Koster says:"The thing that troubles me most about those Scientology ads is the idea that people might think that *you* say: "its very practical." Maybe you *think* it's practical, but you'd use the apostrophe, the lack of which has been bugging me from the very first time I noticed the ad."Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-949943372003-05-28T09:16:00.000-07:002005-12-08T11:55:53.933-08:00Dang, my enema post didn't work. See, I wrote about Scientology and before that I wrote about brushing up against Susan Sarandon at a war protest and both times I got corresponding cult proselytizing ads and "Stepmom" proselytizing ads slapped on top of my blog. Now all I'm asking for is a little word from our sponsor FLEET ENEMAS.Antigen Doxidan says I should perhaps move away from the Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-949601222003-05-27T15:29:00.000-07:002005-12-08T11:56:16.983-08:00Wow! It's just been brought to my attention that whenever I write about something in this blog an ad for that something suddenly pops up at the top of my page. So here goes...I SURE DO NEED AN ENEMA!ENEMA ENEMA ENEMA ENEMA ENEMA ENEMA ENEMA ENEMA ENEMA!There. let's see what happens...Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-947133912003-05-21T18:22:00.000-07:002005-12-08T11:56:50.440-08:00I touch tin cans. It's totally different than announcing something like "I touch roses" because, well, it really happened to me. I touched them for real. The Scientology e-meter cans. After four long years of Alonso Duralde strong-arming me past the beautiful Scientology building on Hollywood Boulevard with its lovely huge-tastic neon sign that beckons personality testers everywhere to come! comeDavehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-945845972003-05-19T08:32:00.000-07:002005-12-08T11:57:13.786-08:00I need more scented candles in my life. I know this because we had a big party here this weekend with too many guests for our not-exactly-huge apartment. It was Antwonefisher Dereliction's 36th birthday and about 50 people showed up. It was sort of a warm evening, and even though all the windows were open and the ceiling fans were moving and aproximately 25 unscented candles were going full tilt,Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-940628232003-05-09T10:26:00.000-07:002005-12-08T11:58:00.793-08:00So Acerbic DimSum and I and Tom Ford and Binny Lopez all went out to the Warner Bros. lot to see the new Matrix movie last night. They never have their shit together at the Warner lot. Never. In my four years of living here and going to movies on studio lots I have hardly ever had a problem with the big studios and their entrance procedures. Not even after September 11 did it become that Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-931856672003-04-24T09:40:00.000-07:002005-12-08T11:58:29.596-08:00I had to watch this piece of crap movie last week called "The Young Unknowns." It opened in L.A. last friday and if you're lucky it won't open in your city. It's an indie film about young, rich, white, spoiled 20somethings in Hollywood. It has all the stupidity of the film version of "Less Than Zero" with none of the fun style, degradation or big shoulder pads.Anyway, the people both of those Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-931211982003-04-23T09:47:00.000-07:002005-12-08T11:58:59.083-08:00This just in from Alfonso Duvall (his name on the Gilmore Girls event press list, which he s-p-e-l-l-e-d over the phone and they still screwed up): "Bruce Weber is the Leni Riefenstahl of body fascism!" That Duvall always comes up with the good ones.So, what happened to Bobbie Gentry? Can someone please tell me? I Google her name and I have her in TiVo but still nothing. How can the woman who Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-930529422003-04-22T09:05:00.000-07:002005-12-08T11:59:20.380-08:001. I'm back from even more busy writing for money and not love.2. Where in the flying heck are my archives? I will have to become a pest to blogger to find out, I suppose.3. Barry Anderson, actual friend from high school I'm still in touch with after 20 years, just yesterday encouraged me to "Blog man! Blog like the wind!" So I shall.4. Alonso and I went to a thing in the valley last night at theDavehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-914388242003-03-26T14:32:00.000-08:002005-12-08T11:59:58.150-08:00Time flies when you're not writing. Well, actually, I was writing. In fact I was writing a heck of a lot. But for money, not love.So here's some stuff:The most important thing I did this month was go to a war protest. Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins stood right next to me for a second. And now I'm wondering if that constitutes a celebrity sighting. The longer I live here, the more I'm learning Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-900775702003-03-03T15:51:00.000-08:002005-12-08T12:00:41.886-08:00The other firsts:The Hockey Game.First of all, that old UK band The Sundays is following me around. Monday night we're in the supermarket and we hear "Here's Where The Story Ends," their one and only hit in the United States. To hear this in the supermarket doesn't make me happy. All it does is make me feel that, like Rockwell, somebody's watching me. Somehow, I happened to walk into just the Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-896659202003-02-24T13:24:00.000-08:002005-12-08T12:01:13.816-08:00Before I catch you up on the things I promised that you'd read about, I should say that:Faith Hill is as modern and clean a pop star as there can be because she demands nothing of her audience, offers them songs about nothing in return, is married to an equally empty pop star and still manages to entertain me with her ill chosen outfits and steely hissy fits in "Jane" magazine.I was thinking Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-889244322003-02-11T10:38:00.000-08:002005-12-08T12:01:47.976-08:00Ok, I should mention that the Sweet Lady Jane cake was consumed because we were being visited by Alonso's sister Yoli (Pronounced JOlee and short for Yolanda. It's a Spain thing, so don't ask. He has another sister named Victoria who everyone calls Chiky. I've never quite figured out why, but I call her Chiky too.) Anyway, she came down from Tacoma for a doctor's conference and she brought me a Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-888231592003-02-09T17:22:00.000-08:002003-02-09T17:22:22.136-08:00A clarification about the things I hate:
1. Hummer as in big steroidal light truck.
2. Neighbor as in woman who left her frigging purse sitting at the mailbox out in the open where any bad robber could have come along and swiped it, who when I took the purse and brought it to her door only opened the door wide enough to grab the cheap, unattractive thing out of my hand, utter a "meep" from her Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-883419752003-01-31T11:52:00.000-08:002005-12-08T12:02:08.113-08:00I feel like hating more things today. I haven't mentioned how much I hate our President in this blog. I should have done that a long time ago. I live in fear of his every war mongering, environment destroying, economy crushing move. I want him to go back to whatever country club he was raised at and live there and stop bothering me.Other things I hate besides the President:1. Hummers2. olives3. Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-882298592003-01-29T14:12:00.000-08:002005-12-08T12:02:35.493-08:00Because I'm rockin', I can't sit back and watch bad rock things happen. I must speak!1. I hate that loony Brian Wilson is shilling for the new Element SUV and that his new box set "Smile: Elements" is going to be tied into this thing.2. I hate that just last week, my laughing boyfriend Aramis Deltooty and I were talking about how it's cool that The Donnas are all over the place now, but that it'sDavehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-881829992003-01-28T15:49:00.000-08:002005-12-08T12:03:01.243-08:00Sears is a sad place. At least the one in the Valley on the corner of Victory and Laurel Canyon is. If you haven't been there in a while, only seen their pathetic excuse for a Christmas catalog lately, then you'll know what to expect when you walk in. Diminished everything. When I was a kid I bought records there. I bought Donna Summer's "Live and More" at Sears. That means that there was a Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-879630252003-01-24T08:44:00.000-08:002005-12-08T12:03:26.713-08:00My history with Todd Haynes, director of FAR FROM HEAVEN and pretty much one of my favorite contemporary filmmakers, is one that has been marked by my insane enthusiasm and my friends' lack of it. When SAFE, his 1995 movie with Julianne Moore as the suburban housewife who becomes fatally allergic to her environment, opened in Dallas, it played there for about 5 days. I saw it twice during that Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-877891912003-01-21T08:48:00.000-08:002005-12-08T12:04:07.260-08:00Dig, if you will, my review the new Brazilian movie, CITY OF GOD.The title of Fernando Meirelles’s hyperactive City of God is all the irony that would fit in his epic of senseless slum violence in Brazil. Too bad, because the stuffed, sprawling tale could have used a shot of something other than misplaced Boogie Nights/Goodfellas=esque nostalgia to make its point. The story of Rocket, a young boyDavehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-876430622003-01-18T09:08:00.000-08:002005-12-08T12:04:30.913-08:00Onward with the LAFCA story and more things I noticed while sitting at my table eating the really bland chicken dinner (the salad was nice though, with these sort of mushy sauteed pears and caramelized walnuts; I need learn how to caramelize stuff) and the dessert of a chocolate thing with a raspberry next to it.1.I saw the Lilo & Stitch team of Dean Deblois and Chris Sanders accept their specialDavehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-876142752003-01-17T15:42:00.000-08:002005-12-08T12:04:58.096-08:00I'm interrupting the continued story of my night at the LAFCA awards to answer this question that was sent to the "Ask Dave White a Question About Los Angeles" portion of this blog. It's relevant because it's directly related to part one of my story. The question is once again from LibraryAnne of Texas, who writes, "How do you keep from hyperventilating and/or passing out when surrounded by all Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-875419132003-01-16T09:32:00.000-08:002005-12-08T12:05:22.380-08:00Carmela Soprano hogs the butter. Butter, I might add, that she doesn't even eat. Here's how I know: I was at the L.A. Film Critics Association Awards dinner last night, a proud "Plus One," the arm candy of Alonso Duralde (he was so cool last night he gets his real name in the blog today).So I sat at the same table with Edie Falco (Carmela S. for those of you without HBO), winner of last night's Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-873854502003-01-13T18:09:00.000-08:002005-12-08T12:05:48.956-08:00What I Did After I Got Codeine:1. Slept like a coma patient for several nights.2. Was informed by Jason Havard that in Canada codeine is sold over the counter. Another reason Canadians seem so happy.3. Saw "Two Weeks Notice" with Jason and his boyfriend Dave Cobb on Saturday night. It's related to being sick because AD and I are of the opinion that Sandra Bullock movies were meant to be watched Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-870838792003-01-07T16:04:00.000-08:002003-01-07T16:05:35.000-08:00Here is my Kaiser news of the day. Kaiser is my HMO. They suck. They don't suck as much as having no health insurance (I realize I am about to complain from a position of privilege) but they still suck. They used to be cramped into a dim little space on the third floor of Building C in the Kaiser Compound. The employees were grimly efficient. Then they moved. Of course, no one tells you that Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-870152842003-01-06T09:58:00.000-08:002003-01-06T09:58:45.840-08:00I'm sick. Be back later.Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-868767922003-01-03T06:30:00.000-08:002003-01-03T06:30:31.210-08:00A Retraction:
OK, so Tom Ford claims that he told us he bought our No Face at the Giant Robot store and that I am spreading lies about his secretivity. There's that. In my beautiful mind I recall him being less than forthcoming, a man of mystery, but he says he was nakedly truthful. I will now choose to believe him.
Some Clarifications Because I Didn't Really Think It All Through Yesterday Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-868480282003-01-02T14:53:00.000-08:002003-01-02T14:53:59.880-08:00I don't need to see or hear the word "bear" for a month. A 31 day month, please. I've just resurfaced from a subcultural overload. It wasn't a bad subculture, it was just a lot of it. I spent New Year's Eve at Pine Mountain/Mt. Pinos, about 90 minutes away from Los Angeles. It's good and cold there, with snow and decent air and total silence when you need it; unless you're inside a big house withDavehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-866730042002-12-29T15:17:00.000-08:002002-12-29T15:17:16.396-08:00More Christmas things:
4. Hosted two brunches/open houses. Lots of pancakes. At the first one it took about 25 people to consume three pounds of bacon in about an hour. At the second one it took about 15 people to consume four pounds of bacon in the first forty five minutes of the party. I would call our guests pigs but pigs don't eat bacon. Wait, maybe they do.
5. Tom Ford brought us a new Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-866407202002-12-28T16:48:00.000-08:002002-12-28T16:48:24.040-08:00Some Christmas things we did:
1. Disneyland. Dave Cobb and Jason Havard, who are fag lovers, took us to Disneyland to gift us. We saw the incredible Nightmare Before Christmas Haunted Mansion, which we rode three times, and the Small World ride, which had been transformed into something even more garish than it normally is, all drowned in Christmas lights and decorations inside and out. The "Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-862911092002-12-19T15:04:00.000-08:002002-12-19T15:04:24.293-08:00More SUV terribleness. One of them did the usual parking over the line of their space thing today, right next to me. As I tried to back out of the space and turn, I hit the tank and crashed my driver's side signal light on it. Not a scratch to the tank. My signal light still works (somehow the bulb itself wasn't damaged) but the shell is shattered. Curses!
And another thing. I saw the guy who Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-862466802002-12-18T17:35:00.000-08:002002-12-18T17:35:03.550-08:00Well I'm back from Thanksgiving and so here is my new thing: making the lives of SUV drivers more complicated. I want them to experience all the frustration I feel when they're in the oncoming lane of traffic, and it's night, and their freaky halogen lights are on, and I'm being blinded because those lights are at eye level. I want them to know the frustration I feel when I can't see around them Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-851135292002-11-26T08:16:00.000-08:002002-11-26T08:16:52.433-08:00My new thing is to inconvenience people in SUVs. I'll tell you all about it when I get back from Thanksgiving. Bye.Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-848454292002-11-20T17:44:00.000-08:002002-11-20T17:44:11.000-08:00"Are there, in fact, batty ladies in huge Hollywood mansions lying in wait, Havisham-like, for down-on-their-luck golden boys to fall into
their webs?"
Welcome, dear friends, to my new blog feature, which is called "Ask Dave White A Question About Los Angeles." The above question comes from Anne The Librarian in College Station, Texas, who just watched "Sunset Boulevard."
Dear Anne: Yes, thereDavehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-846322962002-11-16T12:34:00.000-08:002002-11-17T09:00:34.000-08:00So I just heard that the Smithsonian is going to have a lunchbox exhibit. I need to see that shit. I need to OWN that shit. My craving, if not my budget, for lunchboxes continues unabated. Darn that Amoeba Records. They have tons of vintage boxes behind the counter, all for sale, and all just this side of too expensive, so for now I'll be content with my small, well curated collection. I say Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-843934252002-11-11T17:59:00.000-08:002002-11-11T17:59:45.823-08:00Alonso Duralde and I are the official champions of knowing things about Showgirls. It's official because we won prizes Saturday night as proof. We went to new friends Doug and John's house for a watching party with a bunch of other people we didn't know. After the movie there was a multiple choice quiz that we both aced. Advanced Dementia won a t shirt with Nomi and Cristal on it and I won a set Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-841352542002-11-06T13:27:00.000-08:002002-11-06T13:27:20.240-08:00"He carried a hair bow that she allegedly had stolen over to her, placed it on her head and said, ''Can anyone see Ms. Ryder with this on top of her head? Does that make sense?'"
That's why she's not guilty. Because the stolen items were tacky. I expect to see the artist's rendering of that scene in next month's issue of Elle. I actually feel sorry for her, though. Why is that?Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-840912112002-11-05T17:56:00.000-08:002002-11-05T17:56:12.180-08:00I'm back. You missed me. I was hobknobbing with the gay A list and had no time to write. Hey dig this: Will Clark, my favorite porn star, wants to run this blog on his website, www.cockring.org. I know there's nothing sexual about this blog, but you never know if people still might want to spank it while reading about my stupid life. I could be tangentially responsible for multiple orgasms Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-834651412002-10-24T09:05:00.000-07:002002-10-24T09:10:10.000-07:00I had to go see "Waking Up in Reno," last night for E! Online. It stars Patrick Swayze. It's not as good as "Roadhouse," "Black Dog" or "Young Blood," and it sure ain't no "Red Dawn." It also stars Charlize Theron, poor thing. That girl has never been in a good movie.
What saved the evening was a conversation I overheard between a man (50's, disheveled, exhausted) and a woman (50's, fuzzy hat, Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-833671052002-10-22T13:21:00.000-07:002002-10-22T13:21:34.643-07:00I'm back. Got busy there being ill and had a million writing deadlines at the same time. Spent free time watching shows about octopi and plastic surgery from TiVo. They're in my wishlist is why. The best plastic surgery show was the one with the vain asshole who got calf implants. He got calf implants because he works out all the time but his calves won't get bigger so he's lumpy and top heavy. Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-827603162002-10-09T15:11:00.000-07:002002-10-09T15:11:35.216-07:00Dag, I have a sinus infection that won't go away. Echinacea, garlic, rosemary, liquorice tea, lemon water, rest: none of them are doing the trick like they have before. Heading off to the doctor now.
A band you should listen to = The Soundtrack of Our Lives "Behind the Music"Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-825603232002-10-05T09:25:00.000-07:002002-10-05T09:25:21.786-07:00We saw "This is Cinerama" last night, the 1952 movie that introduced the Cinerama process. We actually got to see it in the real Cinerama process, too, now that the remodeled Cinerama Dome on Sunset Blvd has the three projector set up. And this movie is super long and totally gay. Not gay like in homosexual; gay like in that "people were entertained by ANYTHING in 1952" way. Very long scenes of Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-825380602002-10-04T17:08:00.000-07:002002-10-04T17:08:12.113-07:00Scene From a Marriage:
Me (crawling back into bed and delivering a light smooch to his cheek after having been awake for an hour already and noticing that I haven't heard the alarm clock go off yet): .........
Him: Quit buggin' me.
Me: Your alarm clock isn't set or something.
Him: .........
Me: I'm going walking. Wanna come?
Him: Shut up and leave me alone.
Music you should listen to = Jessica Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-824778022002-10-03T11:44:00.000-07:002002-10-03T11:44:13.580-07:00Catching y'all up:
1. If I have to explain to you that Dennis Hensley does not, in fact, hate black people, then you are not the type of person who gets jokes.
2. Dennis Hensley says, "There is so a black person in 'Screening Party!" He's right. But it wouldn't have been as fun to say that to Andy Jones.
3. I saw "Jonah: A Veggie Tales Movie" the other night. My favorite song in the movie comes Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-818370212002-09-19T13:19:00.000-07:002002-09-19T13:19:38.333-07:00Suddenly I'm out every night. I don't even like going out every night but that's what's happening.
I even wore fragrance last night for my going out. I never wear it, but Alchemo Durutti bought me some freaky Japanese Commes des Garcons "Odeur 53" for ChristinaAguileramas last year. When you open the box the tiny bottle is in a little metallic bag with the following words printed on it:
TO Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-817831352002-09-18T11:34:00.000-07:002002-09-18T11:34:52.326-07:00Male hustlers cruise me while I wash dishes. This is a fact. I stand at the sink each morning, before or after doing as much yoga as my pathetically still-out-of-shape body can endure, washing dishes and breaking glasses. Our second floor kitchen window looks down on our street. It's good for watching people like the 80's hair-metal guy who lives at the end of the block, the one who sometimes Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-817482762002-09-17T17:51:00.000-07:002002-09-17T17:51:28.163-07:00Why am I never a "blog of note" on the front page of blogger.com? I've thought of myself as somewhat notable.
Saw "24 Hour Party People" today with American Badass Jonny Barnes. He braided his goatee during the movie. That's the punk rock knitting. I recognized Mark E. Smith from The Fall and Howard Devoto, formerly of Buzzcocks and Magazine. There were other fugly British band people in the Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-816806792002-09-16T10:43:00.000-07:002002-09-16T10:45:05.000-07:00I saved many lives Satuday night with my skillz. My dj skillz. Obsessive listmaker that I am, here is my set list (but not in any true order):
non -solitude
carsten nicolai-noto - loop 3
air liquide - robot wars
christian marclay - johann strauss
dr. samuel j hoffman and orchestra - this room is my castle of quiet
stereolab - french disco
kraftwerk - pocket calculator
ec8or - cocaine ducks
Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-815160062002-09-12T11:22:00.000-07:002002-09-12T11:22:11.063-07:00So yesterday was September 11 and I'm just not going to talk about any of that here. You all don't need to know my XXL angst and drama queenliness.
What you do need to know is that I am actively preparing for the second gig in my soon-to-be superstar DJ career. DJ Mrs. White In The Library With The Lead Pipe will spin on Saturday night at the Doyle Logan Gallery at a party honoring soon-to-be Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-812137392002-09-05T18:08:00.000-07:002002-09-05T18:08:25.540-07:00I have a sinus infection. It's making me cough and have a sore throat. It also made me lie on the couch and watch Tivo'd programs. Lots of episodes of "S Club 7," a great show because of how they all live in the same house like the Monkees did and how they manage to work the name of their group into the lyrics of each song they sing at the end of the episode.
Lots of episodes of "Curb Your Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-811070912002-09-03T14:07:00.000-07:002002-09-03T14:07:19.756-07:00Superfoxy neighbor Jill says, "Hey don't worry about the rollercoasters. I can't wear mini-skirts anymore either."
Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-809918472002-09-01T07:02:00.000-07:002002-09-01T07:02:22.443-07:00A Queasy Person's Guide to Amusement Parks
My entire theme park/state fair life is awash in vomit.
I rode my first grown-up ride at the Rochester County Fair in 1977. I was 12 and finally big enough to go on one. So I did. And I puked.
In 1993, after several more incidents on rides that twirled me around, I was goaded into going on another one by a beefy red-haired man I was dating. More vomitDavehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-808931442002-08-29T16:55:00.000-07:002002-08-29T16:55:06.856-07:00I've never posted twice in one day but this is a special circumstance. If you go to: http://www.dennishensley.com/JawsExerpt.htm
you will see three pictures of Alonso Duralde from the photo shoot for our friend Dennis Hensley's new book called "Screening Party."
Each picture is a different mood de Duralde. They are as follows:
1) I am Count Smoke-ula.
2) I am laughing at something Tony Tripoli Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-808783092002-08-29T10:37:00.000-07:002002-08-29T10:37:31.606-07:00I was really hoping they'd kick off Kelly last night. She's been my favorite for some time now but when they booted Tamyra I realized once again that America is full of know-nothing racist inbreds who wouldn't know good singin' if it bit 'em on the ass. I figured if they kicked off Kelly last night, leaving Nomi Malone and Curly Sue behind to warble through, everyone would see the show for the Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-808483072002-08-28T17:52:00.000-07:002002-08-29T10:12:21.000-07:00Okay, some of you want to know what the Grove is and why it's cruddy. I should have been more specific. The giant movie theater at The Grove is not cruddy. It's pretty great. Its only un-great thing is the incompetent teenage staff, who, admittedly, are getting a bum deal. Back in the good old days when I worked at a movie theater we only had four or five screens to deal with, no hassles, free Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-805052452002-08-20T20:21:00.000-07:002002-08-29T10:12:46.000-07:00I made 80 bucks this weekend selling a bunch of junk at 50 cents a pop. If you ever bought me or Alonso a "wacky" gift that you just "knew" we'd love, then it got sold this past weekend. And if you ask me about anything specific, I'll just lie - and I'm a good liar - so don't bother. Then I turned around and went Christmas shopping at the Jonathan Adler parking lot sale. Well, I slept first. The Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-799926952002-08-08T11:57:00.000-07:002002-08-08T11:57:39.643-07:00I forgot to tell you about the buttocks.
The other day, after witnessing Britney's butt crack in Fred Segal, I wandered down to cruddy Urban Mass-Production Outfitters just look around for more candle action. Directly across the street is a Starbucks. Next to the Starbucks is a house. So this guy, whose name I forget but who's always driving around the city in this fake-fur-covered car with a Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-799652392002-08-07T20:23:00.000-07:002002-08-07T20:23:39.503-07:00Some of you are asking, "But Dave, you had a job to quit? I thought you worked at home as a writer." And I did. Then I got canned from my main gig at IFILM. They no longer required my services as a smart-alecky movie criticizer. In fact, they no longer required the services of about a hundred of their, oh, hundred and twenty employees. That was at Christmas. Merry Christmas!
Then I futzed aroundDavehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-798515672002-08-05T10:16:00.000-07:002002-08-05T10:16:17.986-07:00How to Know If Quitting Your Job Was a Good Idea
1. You can sleep again. I am sleeping like crazy and having freaky-ass dreams that aren't about people warning me about deadlines. My freaky-ass dream last night was about me singing in front of people. I don't sing to people ever. Sometimes to Alonso but not often. I was singing in front of my friends in this dream. I was singing the high notes Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-779629812002-06-19T20:21:00.000-07:002002-06-19T20:21:01.323-07:00Vinny Lopezito just came over to deliver birthday gifts. A fake bonsai tree that you build yourself because you hate for real plants and a t-shirt with an elk on it from the Giant Robot store that just kills. We love him and his gifts. We gave him Chinese dumplings and spare ribs in gratitude. Then he and Alonso played Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots and Alonso lost because Vincentennial's robot Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-779040042002-06-18T13:39:00.000-07:002002-06-18T13:39:33.710-07:00A real conversation at the Duralde/White residence, while watching a commercial in which a young girl gets a tongue piercing:
DW: Decide! A tongue piercing or a PA?
AD: What?
DW: A tongue piercing or a prince albert! Pick one!
AD: For me? Neither!
DW: No, no! The game is pick one!
AD: Your game is stupid. No.
DW: A bad robber has a gun to your head! He says pick one!
AD: The bullet please.
DW: Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-778604752002-06-17T14:08:00.000-07:002002-06-18T13:33:03.000-07:00Continuing yesterday's bit of news, I should say that I was in Palm Springs simply to relax and lie by a pool and let the 105 in the shade hotness saturate my bones and make me be still. Coincidentally there was a bear event happening in town, so the place was jumping with the chunky and hirsute. I did not jump with them. I was being still. At least until I went to Fist Fest. See, also Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-777926432002-06-15T17:55:00.000-07:002002-06-15T17:55:30.673-07:00Another human being actually came up to me yesterday and said, "Woof." I responded with "Hey, how's it going?" so it's not like I ignored him or anything; I was totally prepared to engage him in conversation, but Dude just said "woof" AGAIN, like perhaps I hadn't heard him the first time. Now, was there some secret bear code word I was supposed to use back at him and his beard that I failed to Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-776723212002-06-12T15:41:00.000-07:002002-06-12T15:41:59.556-07:00If you're watching "American Idol" on Fox, here's a game to play. Alonso and I call it "Emilio!" Every time Paula Abdul gets pissed at the mean British guy named Simon and says something like, "You're so rude!" or "Why can't you give anyone any credit?" or "Shut up!" you simply add the name Emilio to the end of the sentence. We believe Paula's working through her unresolved aggression at the Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-776380012002-06-11T20:31:00.000-07:002002-06-11T20:31:03.596-07:00I turned 38 on June 7, the same day as Prince and Tom Jones. It was great. I received flowers and a teak lamp base from superfoxy neighbor Jill. I was given a great DVD of two Guy Maddin movies by Tom Ford and was dragged by the very same Tom Ford, against my will on Friday night the 7th, after a horribly long week of job stress, to see The Dan Band. Alonso came too, as did superfoxy neighbor Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-772879892002-06-03T07:43:00.000-07:002002-06-03T07:43:50.480-07:00So I'd just like to take this opportunity to announce that I am the King of Pancakes. It also follows, therefore, that I am the King of Waffles and French Toast, too. But today I am simply the King of Pancakes. I think it's time I abandon my former "aw shucks, glad you like 'em" approach and simply learn to live comfortably with my Pancake royalty. Yesterday in my Pancake kingdom I made a batch Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-772315682002-06-01T15:43:00.000-07:002002-06-01T15:43:33.790-07:00Scientific Reader Bob Nolty says, "The title of this blog should be 'Dave White: My Way of Life." I could agree with that maybe, but I've never been as mean to anyone as Joan was in her heyday.
Mouthy Reader Sean Abley says, "Hey, why'd you go into minute detail about the first half of Alonso's birthday and then give the three-second wrap-up version of the last half? *I* was there for the last Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-770903532002-05-28T20:28:00.000-07:002002-05-28T20:28:54.410-07:00Uh... okay... so it turned into a week of silence and you were totally waiting for a wrap-up to Alonso's birthday story. We went to play miniature golf in the valley with many fags and one straight guy and two little girls. It was great even if I suck at miniature golf to the same degree that I rule at bowling. Then we went to eat barbecue at a place called The Pig. Andy Jones, friend who didn't Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-766037362002-05-15T20:13:00.000-07:002002-05-15T20:13:11.670-07:00My completely cute friend Steve Holyer who lives in Switzerland, but is actually American, solved the math problem. Here is his answer:
The problem would be easier if The Proclaimers and Vanessa Carlton could fly as I always hear Sheryl Crowe flies. But Dave and Alonso specified that they are all walking. I assume that they are walking along roads but avoiding the most major highways where Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-765436732002-05-14T11:34:00.000-07:002002-05-14T11:34:54.110-07:00Alonso Duralde and Dave White bring you the following math equation: If The Proclaimers left Los Angeles on foot to walk 500 miles at 6 mph heading east and Vanessa Carlton left Las Vegas on foot to walk 1000 miles at 4 mph heading west, when would they collide? Bonus points for calculating the exact amount of hours walked by Vanessa before she drowned in the Pacific Ocean.
My back still hurts. Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-765225232002-05-13T20:30:00.000-07:002002-05-13T20:30:48.793-07:00OW! My back has been thrown out of whack again. I am icing it, stretching, seeing the chiropractor who is not a quack and doing yoganess. I also took some anti-inflammatory pineapple extract today. I know, I know. Los Angeles, etc. I've heard it from all of you fly-over friends before. And now I am going to get off the computer and put more ice on it.
Back pain music to soothe: the soundtrack toDavehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-763958012002-05-10T06:59:00.000-07:002002-05-10T06:59:32.270-07:00Bizarre gay pornography alert: "Rumpenstein's Monster" - it's a computer animation porn video. It's very very bad, 1990-ish computer animation - only it wasn't made back then, it's new. A big gay Frankenstein, all green except for his Frankenweenie (which appears to be white male flesh) goes around humping normal animated guys. Crazy. The poem on the back of the box (yes there is a poem on the Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-763236632002-05-08T17:32:00.000-07:002002-05-08T17:32:09.313-07:00Alonso Duralde saw "Star Wars:Episode 2 - Attack of the Clones" last night and his verdict is that "the fighting and chasing and explosioning" are great and the writing and acting are not so great. "Hayden Christensen IS a grown-up Jake Lloyd," he reports.
I saw "Lagaan" myself. "Lagaan" is a 3 1/2 hour musical from India about 19th century peasants oppressed by an unfair British tax. In order Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-761836362002-05-05T07:13:00.000-07:002002-05-05T07:13:57.983-07:00Went to the cavernous Amoeba Records yesterday with Alonso and superfoxy neighbor Jill. She's new in the building. I tricked her into living here. I noticed her sniffing around the vacant apartment next to us one Sunday morning and yelled out my front door, "Hey! You should totally live here!" That's all it took because I have the power of suggestion. Then she came into our apartment and Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-761529412002-05-04T06:50:00.000-07:002005-12-08T12:17:05.933-08:00The book that will feature my homosexual lover on the cover is called "Screening Party" and it will be in bookstores in September so please don't start asking me where you can buy it now - use your reading comprehension and memory skills and wait for it. Alonso is on the back cover because the author, the famous Dennis Hensley, is our dear friend. Other friends are on the cover, too, and they're Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-761335682002-05-03T14:45:00.000-07:002002-05-03T14:45:35.980-07:00Go to www.britneyunderground.com - I hear she smokes too. She AND the Olsen Twins. In fact, it seems like more and more people I know are secret smokers. I went out with my friend M (I am protecting his secret smoking identity) last Friday night and when we got to the patio part of Cobalt he pulled out a pack of cigarettes. "Only socially," he says, which I totally do not get. That's like Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-760932452002-05-02T14:07:00.000-07:002002-05-02T14:07:56.770-07:00Alonso Duralde has accused me of being an "ultimo grito" or something like that. Maybe that's not how he said it. I think he said that God forbid I miss the "ultimo grito." It's Spanish of course - one of many Spanish phrases he bandies about the house - and it means "last shout." It's used the same way we use the term "the latest thing." I am accused of being trendy. This is not the case. I justDavehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-760550582002-05-01T15:16:00.000-07:002002-05-01T20:39:24.000-07:00I have that new No Doubt song stuck in an incomplete loop in my head. I don't know all the words but that part where she goes "keep on dancin'" is just hammering itself into my brain. I'm not even really a fan of No Doubt. It's that one and that damn "Weekend in New England" song (when will our eyes meet when can I touch you etc). The other day it was "Summer Babe" by Pavement. Then I got in Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-760123222002-04-30T13:37:00.000-07:002005-12-08T12:16:28.493-08:00april 30, 2002So Alonso and I went to see Barry Manilow. This was not an accident. He got four tickets from a publicist for the taping of Barry's upcoming CBS special (it will air on May 18 - a Saturday night - that's when Barry's core demo is home watching TV). We took Dennis Hensley and Tony Tripoli. We were some of the younger members of the audience in the Kodak Theater (that's where they Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3482583.post-759807332002-04-29T16:40:00.000-07:002002-04-29T16:40:07.660-07:00april 29, 2002
What it is, Dave White fans. This is how I plan to resurrect the LA Diary that three or four of you keep demanding I pick up again. It's easier to write a little every day than a whole weekly missive. So welcome back to my life.
Go see "Jason X" and watch him murderate all the slutty teen space scientists of the future. You will thank me for this advice later.Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04711006014311843388noreply@blogger.com